How to Say “Me and My House” and Mean It
“As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15). It sounds good, doesn’t it? If you are reading this and you’re a parent like I am, it probably sounds even better. I don’t know of a Christian parent who wouldn’t be happy to say along with John, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 1:4).
As good as it sounds, it simply isn’t something that many parents of mature children can say. I’ve known many Christian parents who have dragged a disinterested, even rebellious teenager to church service, knowing that when that child left the house, he or she would also leave “the house of God (1 Timothy 3:15). I’ve known of many other Christian parents who had a child who seemed to be involved with the church but who used the freedom of adulthood to forsake “the perfect law of liberty” (James 1:25). If you are surrounded by enough of these stories, outcomes like these can seem inevitable. Joshua said he and his house served the Lord, but when he and all his “generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the LORD nor the work which He had done for Israel” (Judges 2:10). Can any parent really say with any certainty that his or her house “will serve the LORD”?
It should be said that even the perfect Father, God, has many imperfect children, even among those who are not merely His offspring by creation (Acts 17:26-29) but who have been adopted into His house (Romans 8:14-15; Ephesians 1:5). There is no magic formula that can ensure a child’s faithfulness or circumvent the reality that the children of Christians, like all people, have free will and are able to exercise it in ways that oppose God. When it is properly understood, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6) is not a promise that children raised in Christian homes will inevitably find their way back to the Lord (and there isn’t one in Scripture). It’s actually an encouragement to train children as individuals, and individuals will always be able to choose their own spiritual direction.
With that being said, parents should not – no, must not – assume a defeatist posture in parenting. Moms and Dads, God did not bless your homes with those precious souls in a doomed to fail exercise. God was able to say of Abraham in spite of the obvious imperfections we can see in the record of his life, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment” (Genesis 18:19 KJV). Before Isaac was even born, God knew what kind of trajectory his life would take under the guidance of his father Abraham. Isaac may have followed Abraham at his worst, lying to Abimelech (Genesis 26:6-10) just as his father had done (Genesis 20:1-10), but he also followed him at his best, living by faith (Hebrews 11:20) just as Abraham had done (Hebrews 11:8-10, 17-19).
The sad reason that many parents don’t have the confidence of Abraham or even Joshua is that they have outsourced the role that God gave to them. God said of Abraham, “he will command his children and his household,” and he says to fathers today, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Many parents assume that the faith of other Christians will rub off on their children; if you take a child to enough Bible classes, church events, Bible camps, and the like, he or she is sure to become a Christian and stay one. Yet experience proves otherwise time and time again, and there’s a reason why it does. No, God didn’t command the church to raise your children, parents; He commanded you.
Are you familiar with Genesis 22? When Isaac overheard Abraham saying to his servants, “the lad and I will go yonder and worship,” do you think he was hearing this for the first time (Genesis 22:5)? Do you think Isaac said, “Aw dad, do I have to carry this firewood? Can’t I stay home?” when Abraham “took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on” him (Genesis 22:6)? Isaac was evidently so familiar with this scene that he knew what missing as they made their way to the mountains of Moriah (Genesis 22:7-8). Yet he was also so trusting and obedient that he, not a boy but a young man able to carry a large bundle of wood for some distance, allowed himself to be tied up and placed upon an altar (Genesis 22:9), silent as Abraham “stretched out his hand” with a knife (Genesis 22:10). That entire scene unfolded because worship was a part of the fabric of Abraham’s home; Abraham did not “withhold” his “only son” from God (Genesis 22:12), but used his influence as a father to lead him to God. We know the end of the story: Isaac was not offered that day upon that altar, but in effect he was raised to a new and living faith granted to him by his father (Hebrews 11:19).
A Psalmist said, “One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts” (Psalm 145:4). This didn’t just happen at a temple or a synagogue; another Psalmist explained:
God has always called fathers to pass their faith down to the next generation. And for his part, the latter Psalmist vowed, “We will not hide them from their children, Telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done” (Psalm 78:4).
Parents, have you hidden anything from your children? More specifically, when was the last time your children heard you praise the “works” of God and His “mighty acts” outside of the church building? When was the last time that “the works of God” and “His commandments” were a dedicated topic of discussion as you sat with your family in your home? How long has it been since the word of God was at the forefront of your family’s mind from the time everyone got up to the time they went to bed (cf. Deuteronomy 6:4-9)?
Parents, it is highly unlikely that you will ever be able to say, “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD,” if you never worship and serve the Lord in your house: inside the literal four walls of your house together as a family. The best chance you can give your child at enjoying an eternity of praising God in Heaven is a childhood full of daily praise offered to God here on earth.
Let me share something here before I close. When my first child was born, I found this incredibly hard. I had been talking about home devotionals since before I was even married, but there was a problem: I had never experienced them. I had no idea what to do! I felt an internal pressure to make each gathering something profound, like I had to write a little sermon each day. I might have been a full-time preacher, but I was so discouraged by what seemed like a daunting task “to show piety at home” (cf. 1 Timothy 5:4).
Eventually, a simple motto occurred to me that has served me very well in parenting: done is better than perfect. There were three things that I saw as parts of worshipping God that I knew I could easily bring home: singing, praying, and studying the Bible. To get over the hurdle of straight Bible reading with a toddler, I began to fill our family’s library with Bible story books. I found that as my children grew older and day after day ended with a simple time of worship, we were able to move to longer prayers, to deeper Bible story books with fewer pictures and even to readings from the Bible itself. It’s been such a joy to watch my children grow, to praise God together with them, to answer their questions, and to guide them in developing faith.
As I write this, I’m well aware that my own young family is a work in progress. However, I’ve also seen the proof in the pudding in mature, faithful adults raised with a habit of family worship time and time again. It may seem trite, but it’s also tried and true: the family that prays together stays together, both here on earth and forever in Heaven.
As good as it sounds, it simply isn’t something that many parents of mature children can say. I’ve known many Christian parents who have dragged a disinterested, even rebellious teenager to church service, knowing that when that child left the house, he or she would also leave “the house of God (1 Timothy 3:15). I’ve known of many other Christian parents who had a child who seemed to be involved with the church but who used the freedom of adulthood to forsake “the perfect law of liberty” (James 1:25). If you are surrounded by enough of these stories, outcomes like these can seem inevitable. Joshua said he and his house served the Lord, but when he and all his “generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation arose after them who did not know the LORD nor the work which He had done for Israel” (Judges 2:10). Can any parent really say with any certainty that his or her house “will serve the LORD”?
It should be said that even the perfect Father, God, has many imperfect children, even among those who are not merely His offspring by creation (Acts 17:26-29) but who have been adopted into His house (Romans 8:14-15; Ephesians 1:5). There is no magic formula that can ensure a child’s faithfulness or circumvent the reality that the children of Christians, like all people, have free will and are able to exercise it in ways that oppose God. When it is properly understood, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6) is not a promise that children raised in Christian homes will inevitably find their way back to the Lord (and there isn’t one in Scripture). It’s actually an encouragement to train children as individuals, and individuals will always be able to choose their own spiritual direction.
With that being said, parents should not – no, must not – assume a defeatist posture in parenting. Moms and Dads, God did not bless your homes with those precious souls in a doomed to fail exercise. God was able to say of Abraham in spite of the obvious imperfections we can see in the record of his life, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment” (Genesis 18:19 KJV). Before Isaac was even born, God knew what kind of trajectory his life would take under the guidance of his father Abraham. Isaac may have followed Abraham at his worst, lying to Abimelech (Genesis 26:6-10) just as his father had done (Genesis 20:1-10), but he also followed him at his best, living by faith (Hebrews 11:20) just as Abraham had done (Hebrews 11:8-10, 17-19).
The sad reason that many parents don’t have the confidence of Abraham or even Joshua is that they have outsourced the role that God gave to them. God said of Abraham, “he will command his children and his household,” and he says to fathers today, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Many parents assume that the faith of other Christians will rub off on their children; if you take a child to enough Bible classes, church events, Bible camps, and the like, he or she is sure to become a Christian and stay one. Yet experience proves otherwise time and time again, and there’s a reason why it does. No, God didn’t command the church to raise your children, parents; He commanded you.
Are you familiar with Genesis 22? When Isaac overheard Abraham saying to his servants, “the lad and I will go yonder and worship,” do you think he was hearing this for the first time (Genesis 22:5)? Do you think Isaac said, “Aw dad, do I have to carry this firewood? Can’t I stay home?” when Abraham “took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on” him (Genesis 22:6)? Isaac was evidently so familiar with this scene that he knew what missing as they made their way to the mountains of Moriah (Genesis 22:7-8). Yet he was also so trusting and obedient that he, not a boy but a young man able to carry a large bundle of wood for some distance, allowed himself to be tied up and placed upon an altar (Genesis 22:9), silent as Abraham “stretched out his hand” with a knife (Genesis 22:10). That entire scene unfolded because worship was a part of the fabric of Abraham’s home; Abraham did not “withhold” his “only son” from God (Genesis 22:12), but used his influence as a father to lead him to God. We know the end of the story: Isaac was not offered that day upon that altar, but in effect he was raised to a new and living faith granted to him by his father (Hebrews 11:19).
A Psalmist said, “One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts” (Psalm 145:4). This didn’t just happen at a temple or a synagogue; another Psalmist explained:
For He [the LORD – v. 4] established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children, That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments; And may not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not set its heart aright, And whose spirit was not faithful to God (Psalm 78:5-8).
God has always called fathers to pass their faith down to the next generation. And for his part, the latter Psalmist vowed, “We will not hide them from their children, Telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done” (Psalm 78:4).
Parents, have you hidden anything from your children? More specifically, when was the last time your children heard you praise the “works” of God and His “mighty acts” outside of the church building? When was the last time that “the works of God” and “His commandments” were a dedicated topic of discussion as you sat with your family in your home? How long has it been since the word of God was at the forefront of your family’s mind from the time everyone got up to the time they went to bed (cf. Deuteronomy 6:4-9)?
Parents, it is highly unlikely that you will ever be able to say, “As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD,” if you never worship and serve the Lord in your house: inside the literal four walls of your house together as a family. The best chance you can give your child at enjoying an eternity of praising God in Heaven is a childhood full of daily praise offered to God here on earth.
Let me share something here before I close. When my first child was born, I found this incredibly hard. I had been talking about home devotionals since before I was even married, but there was a problem: I had never experienced them. I had no idea what to do! I felt an internal pressure to make each gathering something profound, like I had to write a little sermon each day. I might have been a full-time preacher, but I was so discouraged by what seemed like a daunting task “to show piety at home” (cf. 1 Timothy 5:4).
Eventually, a simple motto occurred to me that has served me very well in parenting: done is better than perfect. There were three things that I saw as parts of worshipping God that I knew I could easily bring home: singing, praying, and studying the Bible. To get over the hurdle of straight Bible reading with a toddler, I began to fill our family’s library with Bible story books. I found that as my children grew older and day after day ended with a simple time of worship, we were able to move to longer prayers, to deeper Bible story books with fewer pictures and even to readings from the Bible itself. It’s been such a joy to watch my children grow, to praise God together with them, to answer their questions, and to guide them in developing faith.
As I write this, I’m well aware that my own young family is a work in progress. However, I’ve also seen the proof in the pudding in mature, faithful adults raised with a habit of family worship time and time again. It may seem trite, but it’s also tried and true: the family that prays together stays together, both here on earth and forever in Heaven.
-Patrick Swayne
patrick@tftw.org
patrick@tftw.org
Posted in Christian Living
Posted in Home, Family, Parenting, Children, Family Worship, Bible Time, Home Devotionals, Joshua 24:15, Youth
Posted in Home, Family, Parenting, Children, Family Worship, Bible Time, Home Devotionals, Joshua 24:15, Youth
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